Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
