I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
