Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This is the prime rib incident all over again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
