this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
