Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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