I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
