Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
