For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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