I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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