He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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