i was born a porn star she said
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
