They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
