ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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