you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
