I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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