my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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