Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
