Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
you never un-have a 4some
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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