youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
