So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
