return my video game
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
