He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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