You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
