I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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