The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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