my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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