I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
