I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
