Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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