shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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