They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
