Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
