I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
