just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
