Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
