i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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