ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
