Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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