I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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