when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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