woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
