Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
