i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
