Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
