i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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