Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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