its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
