Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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