if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
