Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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