So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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