Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
