It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can I color on your dick again?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
