On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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