who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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