Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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