Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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