I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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