i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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