I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
